So, um...

I've recently been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Told that I was highly functional in it.

Now, this in itself isn't a bad thing. But considering the stigma my father put on me in terms of being "mentally disabled", I'm fighting off a state of panic. According to my dad, if you're mentally ill in any way at all, you deserve to be locked away forever and ever. When I was little and my dad couldn't put up with me, he got in my face and yelled "DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU?!"

So you can imagine when I got this diagnosis today, I panicked. I fought it off. I didn't want it to be true. I'd have to be locked away, my friends wouldn't be my friends anymore, my husband would leave me, I'd be alone behind bars and no one would care.

Today, I still sit in my room and cry, telling myself "I'm sick." The depression isn't helping matters either. So, I'm not sure what to say to you guys. I don't know if I'll be okay. I should be happy that there's a name for my behavioral problems, but I'm terrified. I don't know what this means or how it will change me.

I guess if I can get some support, no matter how little, I wouldn't feel so bad. There's no support groups in my area, and I'm terrified to go to one anyway. I've almost lost all will to write or do anything, and I'm scared of what I might do in the future. I wish I could put all of this into better wording, but this is how I feel right now. And why there won't be many updates in the future.